


Guys Like You And Me (We're Just The Losers)

by Stardust_Shadows816



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 00:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_Shadows816/pseuds/Stardust_Shadows816
Summary: Jared decides to make a group chat with Evan, Connor, Zoe, and Alana.





	Guys Like You And Me (We're Just The Losers)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is a small fic I started for fun about the main kids in DEH having a little group chat and having fun. There will be quite a few vine references

_ Jared _ started a group chat

_ Jared _ added  _ Evan _

_ Jared _ added  _ Connor Murphy _

 

_ Jared _ changed their name to  _ meme master _

 

meme master: WASSUP FUCKERS

 

Connor Murphy: jared what the fjuck

 

_ meme master _ changed  _ Connor Murphy _ ’s name to  _ 420 BLAZE IT _

 

420 BLAZE IT: you little shit i hate you

 

meme master: you know you love me uwu

 

420 BLAZE IT: UWU AGAIN AND ILL FUCKING KILL YOUK

 

meme master: umu

 

Evan: What the heck??

 

_ meme master _ changed Evan’s name to  _ gay disaster _

 

gay disaster: Jared I’m bi

 

gay disaster: If anything you two are the disasters

 

420 BLAZE IT: you got that right

 

_ 420 BLAZE IT _ changed  _ gay disaster _ ’s name to  _ on stand-bi _

 

on stand-bi: Okay that’s way better

 

meme master: aww look at connie helping his bf

 

420 BLAZE IT: call me connie again and i swear ill kill you

 

_ meme master _ changed  _ 420 BLAZE IT _ ’s name to  _ connie _

 

_ connie _ kicked  _ meme master _ out of the group chat

 

on stand-bi: Wow that was harsh

 

_ connie _ changed their name to  _ connman _

 

connman: anything to protect my man uwu

 

on stand-bi: CONNOR GET OUT

 

connman: damn ev i get rid of jared and this is the thanks i get

 

on stand-bi added meme master

 

meme master: CONNOR WHAT THE HELL DUDE

 

connman: fuck you thats what

 

_ meme master _ changed their name to  _ i lived bitch _

 

i lived bitch: i need more friends to add to this chat tbh

 

connman: as if you havea ny friends asshole

 

i lived bitch: that was so mean i physically felt that pain

 

on stand-bi: What about Zoe?

 

connman: NO WERE NOT ADDING ZOE

 

i lived bitch: why would i listen to you???

 

i lived bitch: first you kick me out and now you don’t even use proper grammar smh

 

connman: jared i fucking swear to god

 

on stand-bi: Aren’t you an atheist tho

 

connman: youre not helpjng ev

 

i lived bitch: added Zoe Murphy and Alana Beck

 

connman: i fucking hate you

 

connman: you little gremlin shit

 

Zoe Murphy: I’m not even going to ask

 

connman: god zoe you just ruined this chat

 

Zoe Murphy: Nice to see you too, Connor

 

_ i lived bitch _ changed  _ Zoe Murphy _ ’s name to  _ jazz band girl _

 

jazz band girl: You really aren’t creative, huh

 

Alana Beck: Hello, everyone!

 

connman: finally someone smart

 

i lived bitch: iS EVAN NOT SMART THEN

 

connman: hey guess what

 

connman: guess what bitch 

 

i lived bitch: wot

 

connman: fuck you thats what

 

Alana Beck: I just joined this chat and it’s already gone to hell.

 

jazz band girl: As Connor’s sister, I would like to formally apologize to all of you 

 

Alana Beck: Where is Evan, anyways?

 

i lived bitch: CONNIE SCARED HIM OFF HAHAH

 

connman: brb on my way to jareds to stab him

 

jazz band girl: Connie?? I’m calling him that now

 

Alana Beck: It’s been a couple minutes. I think Connor really did attack Jared.

 

jazz band girl: I’m honestly not surprised anymore

 

i lived bitch: I’M RUNNING

 

i lived bitch: SHIT SHIT SHIT

 

jazz band girl: Is he actually trying to kill you??

 

on stand-bi: Hey guys sorry I was gone

 

on stand-bi: I was talking to mom

 

_ Alana Beck _ changed her name to  _ Alana _

 

Alana: Hi, Evan! A lot’s happened!

 

jazz band girl: Yeah, your boyfriend’s on his way to kick Jared’s ass

 

on stand-bi: Oh shit

 

on stand-bi: I probably need to go save Jared huh

 

connman: relax i didnt do anything

 

connman: at least not anythiog dangerous

 

on stand-bi: Okay I’m on my way to Jared’s house

 

on stand-bi: I swear if you actually drove to his house to fight him

 

connman: i didnt even DO anything to him

 

jazz band girl: Jared’s probably dead by now

 

connman: why do you guys think i actually attacked him

 

connman: im not that horrible

 

jazz band girl: Are you?

 

connman: fuck y ou

 

on stand-bi: Connor I’m here and you better not have done anything

 

connman: I DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING

 

i lived bitch: EVAN SAVE ME

 

_ connman _ changed  _ i lived bitch _ ’s name to  _ gremlin _

 

on stand-bi: Well Connor’s not here

 

on stand-bi: Jared you bitch I thought you were dying or something

 

gremlin: i felt t h r e a t e n e d

 

connman: all of you think i cared enough to go and fucking break down this little shits door to fight

 

jazz band girl: Uh, yes?? Because it’s a Saturday and you have nothing better to do??? 

 

gremlin: except try and bother me apparently 

 

Alana: And you hate Jared. That’s a big one.

 

connman: i thought we all hated jared whats new

 

gremlin: i’m right here asshole

 

connman: trust me we know

 

on stand-bi: Well I’m heading home

 

connman: but

 

connman: i thought you were coming over

 

on stand-bi: What for?? The smell of weed makes me sick

 

jazz band girl: Please? Someone’s gotta be there to make sure he doesn’t blow up the house, and my parents are out

 

jazz band girl: And I get the whole weed thing. I hate it

 

connman: jokes on you i hate you more

 

gremlin: plus y’know they’re boyfriends and might have sex and we can’t have that on my christian server

 

gremlin: hey zoe are you even there?

 

jazz band girl: Nah, I’m getting some food. If I have to hear Connor cry over Evan any more I’m going to lose it

 

gremlin: goddammit zo that could’ve been some great blackmail material

 

Alana: What could you possibly get from Connor, anyways? Weed? 

 

gremlin: honestly i dunno 

 

gremlin: i just wanna watch him suffer

 

jazz band girl: Evan and Connor have been gone for a while huh

 

gremlin: BECAUSE EVAN SNUCK OVER THERE AND THEY’RE HAVING GAY SEX JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE

 

gremlin: i feel like a fucking third wheel with all of you

 

gremlin: i’m not even a third wheel anymore i’m the fifth

 

jazz band girl: Because nobody wants to deal with your stupid jokes and bath bomb obsession obviously

 

gremlin: first of all BITCH

 

gremlin: it’s not an obsession. It’s an art 

 

gremlin: i just l o v  t h e c r o n c h

 

Alana: I don’t even know why I talk to you sometimes.

 

_ gremlin _ changed their name to  _ CRONCH _

 

jazz band girl: I’m about to kick you out I swear

 

on stand-bi: What’s happening??

 

CRONCH: what the FUCK is up kyle

 

on stand-bi: What does that mean???

 

connman: vine ref

 

connman: because jareds an ass

 

CRONCH: so did evan sneak over there and give you a blowjob or something

 

CRONCH: give me all the details

 

on stand-bi: JARED WHAT THE HECK

 

CRONCH: i’m not wrong tho

 

connman: ill tell you all about it monday

 

on stand-bi: CONNOR N O

 

on stand-bi: I’M NOT EVEN AT HIS HOUSE

 

CRONCH: oh come on evan we all know how dirty you really are

 

jazz band girl: So why am I here again?

 

connman: no fucking clue but you can sure as hell leave

 

jazz band girl: Can’t you go back to sobbing over Evan or something? It was better when you were gone

 

connman: im high leave me alone

 

on stand-bi: Guys please save this for another time or something

 

on stand-bi: Sorry I shouldn’t get involved

 

connman: its fine ev calm down

 

CRONCH: you poor bby

 

on stand-bi: Jared please I’m not a baby

 

_ CRONCH _ changed  _ on stand-bi _ ’s name to  _ poor bby _

 

connman: you bitch im one second away fro mn going  to your house right fuckig now

 

CRONCH: TRY ME BITCH

 

_ poor bby _ changed their name to  _ Ev _

 

Ev: Both of you are fricking weird

 

CRONCH: frick frack snick snack

 

connman: bitch

 

Alana: Is this my cue to leave?

 

jazz band girl: Hey Al, I don’t we have that science essay we need to work on?

 

Alana: Oh god, I forgot! I’m so sorry!

 

jazz band girl: It’s okay, I’ll be there soon

 

_ connman _ changed _ jazz band girl _ ’s name to  _ do ya like jazz? _

 

do ya like jazz?: I fucking hate you

 

CRONCH: CONNOR OH MY GOD

 

CRONCH: I’M FCUKIG DYING 

 

CRONCH: OH YM  GPOS

 

connman: dude what the hell

 

connman: calm the fuck down

 

connman: youre not the only one with memes

 

_ CRONCH _ changed  _ connman _ ’s name to  _ fre sha vocado _

 

fre sha vocado: thats the oldest vine in the fucking book jared

 

Alana: Well, Zoe and I need to start on our project. Bye!

 

Ev: Now we lost the only common sense in this damn server

 

CRONCH: shit evan calm down with the language

 

CRONCH: speaking of which i gotta go finish some hw too

 

fre sha vocado: who the fuck calls homework hw

 

CRONCH: see ya later gays

 

fre sha vocado: what the hell are we supposed to do now

 

Ev: You can come over if you want?

 

Ev: I mean if you don’t have anything to do

 

Ev: Sorry

 

fre sha vocado: chill ev im on my way 

**Author's Note:**

> So let me set some things straight:  
> \- They each have different texting styles! Jared uses all lowercase, Evan uses uppercase, Connor's a mess, Zoe uses uppercase and some grammar and Alana texts like an old man  
> \- The spelling mistakes in Connor's texts are intentional! He doesn't care about spelling at all tbh  
> \- Connor and Evan are dating!! So are Alana and Zoe!! They gay!!!  
> \- Their names change a lot and get really confusing, sorry  
> \- but uh yeah this is just a little one-shot!!


End file.
